mikare's Xanga

Habitual Splurging

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 17:04:29 GMT

I was going to post about the personality thing that Cin did, but I got side-tracked yesterday so never got to it.

Instead, I shall now discuss my problem of habitual splurging... So! Ever since I started work, I now have a consistent income (duh!). How it works is that I get paid monthly (salary employee) and our paychecks end up being handed out at the beginning of the next month.

With each paycheck, I give out the usual stuff of monthly investment savings, offering for church and then... There's money for me to spend!!

It's not like I spend it all or anything drastic like that. I just always find something I want...

Back in August, it wasn't that much since I just started working, but I went and got a couple things from the Guess outlet at our new giant mall (around $50). Along with the usual cosmetics stuff from Sephora.

Back in September, it was a pair of dress heels since I didn't have any low-heeled (less than 1") heels, which I picked up from the Shoe Company (around $50). Also, I found this lovely little "wholesale" store online that uh... Sells clothes XD So yah, splurged and got a tonne of stuff!! Lke mm... 7 or 8 things... And it was only like $130!!

Last month was really bad... It was winter boots and not those ugly clunky ones you wore as kids. But something fashionable and warm. "And" being the very, very important key word there. I mean, I have boots already - two pairs of ankle (heeled) boots and a pair of black suede-ish knee-highs. All last year, I wore the knee-highs to work during the winter... Except they're freezing! They're just pretty, but they have no lining besides the simple fabric inside. No, what I wanted this time was warm, lined boots! Which of course, I found... After some searching. Dished out a good $120 or so for those.

Then we went back to the giant mall and I picked out this really cute dress from Forever XXI. The line-ups were crazy! So I just bought it anyways, though I didn't have that much time to really try it out. (Sissy and mom were in the change rooms so didn't have a chance to ask in detail.) Picked up the wrong size, cuz the small was still too big around the armpit region. Then, I went back the very next day to exchange it and ended up picking out some necklaces while I was at it. It was probably around $75 all together.

Shopping with Ang doesn't help cuz then we just want to buy stuff... Us shopaholics banding together... ^^;; So picked up a few more things there that time I went out with her.

Then, it was Braden's birthday a few days ago, so I had to go pick up his present! And of course, shopping for him is like shopping for me at the same time... Cuz I bought even more stuff for myself!! Cologne for him, perfume for me (like $80-ish) and even a game ($42)! The new Mario and Luigi game I might add... Fun stuff!!

Then just this month (what little of it has passed by already)... I was waiting for my bill to be processed. Like my VISA bill for last month's stuff, so I could spend some more!!

This time... I really did it... Lolz. There's this one store on eBay that I know (that I purchased stuff from before). And then I was looking and looking, especially since sissy had this lolita-ish blouse come in for her... And then it spurred my desire again!!

Ugh... So yah, found stuff to buy... Not hard at all! *sigh* The crazy thing?! It's not even the price... I ended up getting like 3 pairs of shoes! THREE pairs!!!

First pair - black knee-high converse shoes with a bit of red plain around the top. I really like these now especially after getting my "converse heels" from Japan. Totally love them! I just don't know what to wear them with... Since I'm not really that type of girl... Like just doesn't seem to match any of my clothes >_> I suppose I'll figure it out after they come...

Second pair - white knee-high lolita boots. Ahaha, my lolita desire kicked in... Like really badly! I really, really like the lolita style. Matches me too - girly girl and all that. So yah... I guess I could find something to match with it. I'll make it work. Not hard at all XD

Third pair - and this one is the kicker... Pink 3-inch heel lolita "princess" shoes. I love pink; I really do. They kind of replace my old pink shoes, though those were only sling-backs with like 1/2" heel. But *sigh* Oh my gosh...! I've really gone and done it now... Ahaha~ The funniest part is that I like totally love them! And have no idea what I'm going to wear with them!

Other things I've picked up from her - white thigh-high socks (I got my black ones from her before), this gothic doll choker/bracelet(-ish) set, black/white/grey plaid tights and this red/black plaid skirt.

I've been eyeing the gothic doll accessories since like forever! I mean, I got the two belts, but still... I always, always really wanted the choker/bracelet... And finally got it...

*sigh* And to top it all off, it'll cost me a pretty penny!! Like $360-ish (after conversion)... Wow!

Seriously, I can understand how Ang felt when she told me that she bought like two jackets online for like $200-something. It's sooo addicting!! Especially if you really, really like it. My will to resist temptation before has always kicked in, but not this time!!! >_>''

The way I figured it though... I'm not going to be young forever!! Gotta wear what you like now, before you're like "too old" to wear that sort of thing! Though... Lolz~ I suppose I could see myself still dressing the same way like 5 years from now... Which would put in me in the almost 30-zone... ^^;;

I just wouldn't wear it to work and I would wear it out wherever I go! XD

That said, I wore my black ballerina skirt to church last week, and one of the other girls was like "Do you always dress like this?!" and I was like "Mm... Not all the time, but yeah~" haha, and sissy was wearing her lolita blouse with this lolita skirt she picked up too. They were like "Cu~te!!" Helped that it was just after Halloween :p

What can I say? I'm a girly girl through and through it seems...

Lolz~ I'll put up pictures later, if anyone really cares to see. I'm just always a touch worried about shoes because I can't try them on before I buy them... I'm going to be so depressed if they don't fit!! Based on the size advertised, should be right, but you know how it is with shoes...

Sculpter for a Day

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 21:15:58 GMT

It's been a while! ^^ Nothing terribly exciting has happened... That's why XD

Anyways, yesterday, I was at work and I was trying to prepare these moulds for one of our procedures. (A procedure I happen to be developing! :p) So after some searching on me and sissy's part, I found this casting material called PermaStone Break-Resistant Casting Material. Sounds awesome doesn't it? It doesn't break! It's like stone!

Well... These are those "if it's good, it'd good; if it's bad, it's horrible" situations...

I prepared my mould and put in my piece that I was trying to replicate the shape of. Turned around to go read something... BAM! Totally forgot about it >_<

Yup... It got stuck...

Darn it all! And like it's name suggests... BREAK-RESISTANT! (I know, cuz I just tried to break it today...)

Sounds like no biggie right? I mean, I bought the entire box for $5... Except, no luck there! I only have ONE of the pieces for the shape that I need... And now it's STUCK in this BREAK-RESISTANT material....

Gah! Turned into a sculting session for like half my work day... Trying to gouge away enough of this stone-like material so I could liberate my poor trapped piece... I did before, but I have a newfound respect for ANYONE who does any type of sculpting, especially for people where this is their profession! Like seriously!! I was just trying to gouge away in any shape or form, as long as it came loose enough that I could get it out. But to have pieces where your livelihood depends on it... And if you do like ONE thing wrong... There goes all your hard work...

Not to mention, it doesn't help that I'm using a resin-based material to pot and what not. (Seriously, me and sissy sound like druggies when we talk about this XD) That stuff is like just as hard and my test runs of how it works... It was in glass jars!! I couldn't even break the mould to free my stuck attempts and I couldn't break the glass jar because of this stuff. What the heck!?!

I have no idea how I'm supposed to dispose of it... Broken glass can go in the broken glass container... CLEAN, broken glass that is. Not so clean if the whole jar has resin in it. The resin is supposed to go in solid waste, but I can't get it free... I couldn't break the mould to liberate the resin and I don't really want to throw the mould into solid waste when it's already full...

haha, back to the "druggie" chat though. I was complaining yesterday to sissy (on Skype) that I had to go to the bathroom, but I was in the middle of preparing another mould. Like UH... DON'T want to go through sculpting class again! So she was like "Go take your pot with you to the bathroom." Lolz~ Like uh... No thanks! XD

*sigh* Dunno WHAT I'm gonna do with this stuff. Can't break it. Can't just throw it in the trash... (Though I did a little bit with the stuff stuck in my moulds... Shhhh~) Definitely not doing that with glass jars though.

Not to mention, this week has been utterly booooring~ Just testing stuff and all that... But it's a whole bunch of doing and not much else. haha, I'm just hard to please. Not in the doing-stuff mood and that's all I get for weekly tasks. Then when I am in the doing-stuff mood, I get stuck with writing reports... Go figure... *glare*

Ah well. That's all the updates from me for now!

Word Clouds

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 14:24:38 GMT

I saw this on speadee's blog and thought that it was pretty neat! So I tried it out myself. I dunno what the link is, but the site was Wordle (I believe).

Anyways, here are my word clouds ^^

Since Xanga is being silly and won't accept my uploads, I had to upload them somewhere else... But the link is http://picasaweb.google.com/aerysa/Miscellaneous#

Funny how "marriage" and "like" are so big on the first two... They have all the same text, but I was playing around with style. That one is from inputing my blog url and at the time, my last entry was uh... On marriage... XD (The previous post to this one.) The second one is a blog entry that I copied from here, where quite obviously... It was one of my dream entries...

*shrugs* Just for fun, killing some time... hehe~

A Hint of Irony

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 00:59:03 GMT

So yesterday, I was hanging out with Ang. We had fun! ^^ Doing the girly things of shopping and chit-chatting and watching a movie. Okay, so the movie isn't so girly... hehe~ We watched Where the Wild Things Are. It was pretty good!! Me being me, I teared up and leaked some "man tears" at the end XDD We sat sooo close to the front though; it was kind of dizzying at first. The camera seemed to be a bit all over the place, but I guess it kind of portrays the kid's (Max) out-of-control behavior.

Anyways! I think the main reason we got together is to chit-chat about the things we've been thinking about - the whole relationship business or lack thereof.

On the way home, I told her a bit about "church guy". Not really a whole lot, but just that I always, always seem to start crushing on him when I see him again. Like, maybe I'll see him a few times a year? Lolz~

This leads to the whole irony of the situation...

Today, at church... He was the worship leader! And not only that, but our topic of discussion for the sermon was Marriage Relationships! Like oooh my gosh!!! o_O;;

I was just feeling kind of funny... Cuz yah... Like we were talking about this yesterday! Not necessarily marriage, but the whole idea of relationships... And to have it come up on Sunday mornings with him leading the time of singing... Whoa!

Anyways, the message was pretty interesting - even if other people didn't think so... haha, my mom thought the speaker was kind of dry.

Basically, in Genesis 3, God declares that it's not good for man to be alone and decides to give him a partner (Adam and Eve). This is the first marriage relationship. There are certain sexual, physical and verbal intimacies that should only remain between husband and wife. He also said something else about God hating divorce (in Malachi 2:16; just checked).

Back to the marriage discussion though! Basically, despite the current day phenomenon of common-law and living together before marriage, there is still something significant about getting married and getting that piece of paper (marriage certificate). It's not about the paper itself, but the actually connotations that the certificate holds.

Regardless, there two broad qualities that each person looks for in their partner/potential partner:
1. Character (disposition, moral fibre, etc.)
2. Competence (ability, aptitude, etc.)

Marriage is tied in with a sense of blind trust, yet that trust is developed based on the two qualities listed above.

Under each of those broad qualities, there are two sub-categories (also kind of broad).
1. Character
a) Integrity (perceived truthfulness, honor)
b) Intent (motivations, aims, self-interests)

- We don't really know a person's integrity until it is actually put to the test.
- (To him) there is something "heart-warming" or encouraging about someone who accepts that they are not perfect, rather than claiming to be completely ethical in all senses of that word. For those who recognize that there are situations which could lead them to be unethical, there is a tighter guard on how we act; we try harder not to fall and keep a look-out for pitfalls and traps.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 (NIV)
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

- Why do we want to get married and not enter into a deep friendship? (Intent)
- Are we drawn together through an emotional bank ("falling in love" which can cloud the true motive); to retain the feelings of now? So by entering marriage, no one else can take those feelings?
- There can be many reasons: wealth, attraction, etc. But the main idea is to find out why we (as in individually and your partner) want to consider that next step. You will have your own reason(s) and so will s/he.

2. Competence
a) Capability
b) Results (successful demonstrations)

- What are our capabilities for marriage?
- Where did we learn what we know about marriage?
- With results, are things more tangible? There is no guarantee. Even if a successful marriage ended with the passing of one person, a second marriage is not guaranteed to work out well. A terrible marriage ended does not guarantee that the person entering another marriage has learned what not to do.

Living together has little to do with marriage as God intended as the idea of marriage is based on commitment. "No matter what you do, you can not stop me from loving you."

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 is the promise. "I will be patient, I will be kind. I will not evny, I will not boast, I will not be proud. I will not be easily angered and not keep a record of wrong. I will not delight in evil, but rejoice in the truth. I will always protect, I will always trust, I will always hope, I will always persevere." And though I may fail at times, I will ask you for your forgiveness and continue to persevere with you.

The idea of marriage needs to be approached with the right spirit - then, it will be realized that the life long experience is good for man.

That was pretty much it for the message, but thinking about it... It's so true! I mean how we base the idea of marriage on those two qualities. Because for me, the last times I considered my interest in a guy... It was definitely based on those two qualities. And the moment something doesn't ring as true, then there is no point in pursuing. It's kind of a logical, rational take on love, but that seems to be how I'm wired.

Somehow, despite it all though, I can see myself in a "whirlwind romance"... Ahaha~ Just because everything will be so right every step of the way, everything falls into place.

*sigh* Ah well... Until that actually happens, I shall just continue to be hopeful and struggle with not being depressed or anxious about it... XD

Dream Routine

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 19:52:37 GMT

Actually, I wanted to blog about this and since I'm getting tired of working... Lolz~ So lazy today! Especially since there's no one in the lab but me - from the company anyways.

It's really odd though! This last week has just been odd!

Since I started work again on Tuesday, it has been the same morning routine. I mean, even how I wake up and everything...

My alarm clock is 10 minutes fast and I set it for 15 minutes before I'm supposed to wake up. So if you do the math, that's actually 25 minutes before I'm supposed to get up. Since I have snooze on my alarm, I use it. It rings every 5 minutes in between (or something like that).

So the moment my alarm goes off the first time, I'll hit snooze and keep sleeping... Except, this whole week, the art of falling back asleep triggers a dream... I can't remember all of them now. But the moment I wake up again, like actually try to get out of bed, it ends up being an hour later! Like exactly... So instead of waking up on time, I wake up 30 minutes late! >_>''

In that hour that I slept, I had a dream of some sort... The dream I do remember (in some detail) now is today's.

I was hanging out with Ang and we were at a university of some sort. Mostly, we were just wandering around... Then we wanted to go to the bathroom but for some reason, we weren't "allowed" in the first one we found. As a result, we wandered some more and then found these like creepy-ish bathroom, but we went in anyways.

We like just entered and then some guy was on his way out and talked to us. He seemed kind of bummish... Not like homeless or anything, but just something about his attitude didn't sit right. Eventually, he leaves and we go in to do our thing. It kind of seemed like two bathrooms attached to this mini classroom...

When we were done and going to leave, there was a class in there! And then the instructor guy turned out to be the bummish one who we spoke to earlier... We tried to hide behind these benches (that were so not there originally!), but he saw us anyways. I tried to pretend that I didn't see him, but he was talking to his class about intruders... Ang got scared so got up and was like "deer in headlights". I still stayed hiding and then, he was like "There's one more! Someone pick her up and throw her out!" (as in me). No one did, but I got spooked so I got up out of hiding too.

Next thing I know we were kind of on the run... Lolz~ But then we went down these stairs, that weren't really stairs... It's kind of like bleacher stairs because everyone was posting posters on the side and we were like trying to escape, yet not ruin anyone's work at the same time...

Some stuff happened in the middle, that I can't remember now, but afterwards, there were these two guys that were talking to us... I can't remember what we talked about or what happened. All I remember is that Ang ran away on me at the end and I was still with those 2 guys. I think they were bugging us about getting to class cuz we were supposed to do something... And then Ang got kind of mad and panicky at the same time, so she rushed off without me...

Like weird... But I suppose that's supposed to be expected by now. I mean, these are my dreams after all.

Feelin' Odd

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 16:30:47 GMT

Ahaha, so recently, I bought a pair of casual sweats. Unfortunately... Adult sized ones are too long!! o_O;; I had to get them in the kid's section... Lolz~ And they're still too long... Darn it! Why can't they just make shorter ones for shrimps like me?! >_<

Anyways, I decided to wear them... My goodness!! They feel funny... Not the material or anything like that. I'm just so used to wearing jeans and dress pants that are more tight-fitting... As a result, when I walk around, I get this distinct feeling that I'm not wearing any pants!! Bwahaha~

It's quite amusing XD

Daily Workout

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 15:11:14 GMT

My original motto for work was "Get strong or chance it".

We each get our own laptop which is perfectly fine. The problem there is that I'm at the lab and we have no lock-up space whatsoever. As a result, we are supposed to keep our laptop with us at all times. Like if anything happens to that laptop, it's my head on the chopping block.

Ugh... For the first while, I was leaving it in this big tool box we have in the lab and chancing it. Then we got flak for not bringing them with us this one time we headed over to the office. As a result... *sigh* I'm stuck in the "get strong" aspect of the motto. So much for that motto!!

So the last couple days, I had to run back and forth between the lab and the office. It consists of walking across the university campus to get to the train, then walking across SAIT campus and crossing the street to get to the office. My goodness!! >_< My arm is sooo sore!! That thing must be like 10 lbs at least...

Why don't you put it on your shoulder you ask? Well, cuz it hurts too! Walking with that thing on my shoulder for like 20+ minutes... Walking carrying it for 20+ minutes... What difference does it make? Yes, I am a weakling!!

So anyways, today, I had the fun of cutting a piece of metal piping... haha, I purposely closed the door so no one could see what I was doing... *sigh* I don't know how people do it! It probably takes them like 2 seconds to cut through it...

There I am, sawing away with a hack saw... It must have taken me at least 5 minutes!! And like what the heck... It's only a 1/4-inch steel pipe... What if I had to do that for a 1-inch pipe?!! It would take me like all day!!

More to my workout though... Lolz~

Thankfully, the computer thing hasn't been that bad lately since I've been getting rides from sissy~dear! XD They'll make me stronger by the end of it... I'm sure... Unfortunately, it'll only be my right arm cuz my left one is still wimpy as heck.

And no matter how strong I get, I'm still weak. I mean, a guy could do more with his pinky not even trying than I could do using my full strength no matter how much I "workout" >_< Revel in your strength men! Because one day, women will come along and ask you to use it! Bwahaha~ (At least I would XD)

What is...?

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 02:50:14 GMT

In contrast to my fluff-filled blog, I really like reading Ang's blog. Not only because I can keep up with things going on in her life, but also because she's so thought-oriented. I am too, but mostly, I keep my thoughts to myself...

I won't dive into details since her blog is kept personal for a reason, but something I think we both share in common at this point in time is our relationship status - the lack of a boyfriend. She knows her own situation better than anyone else. Since my life has progressed onto that "next stage", I don't think I've ever sat down to think about the things that happened in that aspect of my life.

I don't really want to get into too much detail because 1) it's still really personal to me and 2) most of you don't know the people (or all the people) anyways.

Beyond the usual crushes that I mention, I've only (I hesitate to put that word in) liked 3 guys a lot, a lot. Not all at the same time.

It's just ironic (or maybe not so) that nothing ever happened with any of the situations.

Things didn't turn out for one reason or another. The first time, I was still young, so I wasn't hurt by it too much. (A folly of youth.) The second time, things just "calmed" down by itself over time. The third time, I was pretty hurt by the things that happened.

I don't think I've ever talked about that third situation with anyone. It's just that Ang's situation now reminds me a lot of that situation for me.

Despite my volatility emotion-wise (I tend to show emotions a lot easier than most people), that is one of the things that I've kept locked up. Like her, I tend to analyze and re-analyze and over-analyze. Though I feel something, in relationship situations, I let my brain take over. Not because I don't care... It's something else, but then that leads to another situation which I really don't like talking about either.

*sigh* Not really sure what I'm trying to get at, besides just throwing this out there. Life is complicated; what can I say?

It's one of those situations where your experiences add up and end up molding you into who you are today.

Just in a thinking mood.

Psycho le Cemu

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 15:17:06 GMT

So Psycho le Cemu is a Japanese visual kei group that I really like! They're kind of obsolete though... Haven't had any new releases in years... But I like their stuff!!

Anyways, while we were in Japan, one of our fave places to visit was Book Off. haha, sooo much stuff there! Like manga, CDs, DVDs, etc. It was a 3-minute walk from our place? Really close! And open until 11 or 12! Really convenient if we felt like going out and doing something!

They sell stuff cheap too since someone told us their stuff is used. But *shrugs* Why would I care? I rather buy it (manga) cheap and have the chance to look through it beforehand, rather than buy it based on the cover and find out it's some hentai, smutty thing >_>

I managed to find their Frontiers CD though and picked it up. I mean, it was only 150 yen!! Are you kidding me?! That's like 2 bucks!!!

Just now, I was checking on YesAsia... They sell it for like... $40 (Canadian)!! Holy smokes!! Totally a steal of a deal!! ^__^ haha, so craaazy.

*sigh* I totally wish I bought more now!! Cuz there's actually a few more CDs I would have liked to pick up... Just didn't think of it at the time!! Boo~

A Grateful Heart

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 17:54:27 GMT

For those of us north of the border, it's Thanksgiving Day ^^ So as part of the day, I must spend some time and remember why it is that I'm thankful.

Lately, it seems like all I've been doing is complaining, complaining and more complaining - even for things that I enjoy. How sad is that?

I don't like being a negative person; I don't think that's part of who I am. Sure, everyone has down moments and that's normal. Who hasn't been overly harsh with themselves?

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, it's time to turn that thinking towards the positive!

It's so easy to get lost in the negative little things, we end up forgetting all the bigger positive things! I'm sure there are sooo many things I could be thankful for from the big to the small and everything in between.

Speaking of which, I've been having an enjoyable weekend getting to spend time with friends and family; all of whom I'm thankful for! Even those of you who I don't get to spend time with ^_~ hehe~

Anyways, I think the main thing I'm thankful for is God's guidance in my life. I can look back so many times and see His hand at work. Maybe I didn't think so at the time, but when I look back, I get that "Oh, so that's why!" feeling. And when you settle down to think about it, you realize that it was actually for the best that way.

It's a slow progress, but I can see myself becoming a better person as the years pass. There are stupid mistakes I made in the past. Now they became situations that I learned from and know not to repeat. There are still things that I'm working on and it seems like I get thrown back into similar situations, but at the same time, I know that if I'm faithful like He is to me, then I will come out better.

Mostly, it's my internal workings that bother me the most. I know most people will think that I'm a patient calm type of person (for the most part). I don't blow up at people and freak out at little things. But at the same time, that volatility is something that's actually concealed. Though I might not visually have a freak out moment, the fact that they happen in my head...

And no, I don't mean for things that would bother most people for reasons of injustice or what not. But little things bother me more than they should and I don't like that.

I know it sounds like I'm going backwards with this post in commenting on that. But by bringing it up, I just want to recognize that I've come far from where I used to be. Maybe it's part of the maturing process.

That said, I know that I would like to be in a relationship. But at this moment, I'm actually thankful that I'm single. Everyone wants to be loved and have someone to love - I don't doubt that. At the same time, I'm still deep in the discovering process - discovering what it is that I want to do with my life, how I want to live my life, how it is that I want to be known as. So much about myself that I'm still working out...

If I was in a relationship, it would just complicate things. It's something I see as part of His work.

So on this day, beyond being thankful for the Lord and His work in my life, I'm thankful for each one of you ^^ You guys are amazing and I hope you don't forget that! We might not communicate on a regular basis and what not, but over the years, your thoughts and opinions have become important to me.

hehe, that said, time to enjoy the rest of my long weekend in a relaxing manner. The last couple days have been super busy and I really need the break before going back to work~